To orgasm, or not to orgasm.

I’m not taking about chastity, but rather orgasm control.

I prefer the not.

Hmmm. Or do I…

Orgasm control comes in many forms. Orgasm restriction or denial is an aspect of humiliation. As is orgasm on demand. In denial, your partner pushes your sexual stimulation right up to the edge of orgasming, and then stops. Over. And Over. And Over.
There’s a great definition on kinkly that I couldn’t write any better.

Definition – What does Orgasm Denial mean?

Orgasm denial is a kind of sex play that involves maintaining a high level of arousal for an extended period of time without orgasm. This practice is often used in conjunction with BDSM. During orgasm denial, the dominant partner will usually stimulate the submissive partner to the brink of orgasm and then abruptly stop all stimulation. This cycle may be repeated as the partners wish.

Kinkly explains Orgasm Denial
For dominant partners, practicing orgasm denial can increase feelings of control and power. For submissive partners, practicing orgasm denial can increase satisfying sensations of submission and objectification.
Orgasm denial can be used as a training tool for things like increasing tolerance for stimulation, learning how to control orgasms, learning how to orgasm on demand, and learning how to be a more eager-to-please partner.

I, personally, couldn’t imagine anything better. The longest I lastest was five (okay, okay) four days. The morning of the fifth day I completely broke down, and begged like I’ve never begged before. It was a great day! 😉

Perhaps, someday, I will make my 12 day goal. (Though I doubt it…) 🙂

Orgasming on demand can be quite fun also. It comes with time, and practice. Some would call it training. My Master is very good at it with me. He knows my body better than I know it myself, and can bring all sorts of ecstasy out of me. My Master has, for example, commanded me to orgasm in public, in the car, and any number of other places from fully visible to completely secluded, from fully controlled to beginning to melt. I have been able to orgasm at his command for a few years now. (However, we have a 20+ year relationship founded on trust and lots of sex that brought us here.)

This is not the same as forced orgasm.

In a forced orgasm, the submissive is specifically trying to not orgasm, perhaps at their Master’s orders, while their Master\Top simultaneously physically stimulates them until they cum.

Again, Kinkly has a great definition that need not be re-written.

Definition – What does Forced Orgasm mean?

A forced orgasm occurs even when a person is trying not to orgasm. This is a common element during BDSM play, particularly dominant/submissive scenes. In order for a forced orgasm to occur, a submissive partner must attempt to delay orgasm while the dominant partner stimulates their genitals and other erogenous zones in an attempt to bring on an orgasm. This can be done by performing vaginal, oral, or anal sex, but it usually occurs with the help of vibrating sex toys. A submissive partner is also usually restrained with rope or other bondage equipment while a dominant is attempting to give them a forced orgasm.

Kinkly explains Forced Orgasm
Forced orgasm is typically a very stimulating and erotic experience and has advantages for both submissives and dominants. For the submissives, it is a way to feel a great deal of pleasure at the hands of the dominant. The feeling of helplessness can heighten the experience and make the practice even more pleasurable. A dominant partner can use forced orgasm as a way to punisher control a submissive’s orgasms or punish naughty behavior, while still giving the submissive a great deal of pleasure.

Orgasming on command is best described on Submissive Guide, and a bit too long to paste here.

In the right environment and headspace, Master can say a word, give a look, or a command, and I may cum promptly. That is, without physical stimulation at all, or at least without direct stimulation. I may orgasm while giving him oral sex, during a spanking, while kneeling, or in some other submissive act. Other times, there may be no stimulation or touching at all. Of course, it is all at his command. My orgasms are his. He wields them like a mighty sword, bringing me to places I could never imagine. The place he desires.

I can’t say which method of orgasm control is more a favorite to me then another; denial, forced, or on command.

How do you like your orgasms? Do you submit control of them? Do you prefer a more traditional, gradual approach?

3 thoughts on “To orgasm, or not to orgasm.

  1. This is such an interesting post thank you for sharing it. I have a slight problem, I can cum on command without stimulation but I am sort of messy when I orgasm so doing so outside is really humiliating and so my wonderful partner does not ask me to in public spaces. When I left Australia and moved to be with my darling man he teased that he would greet me at the airport and whisper ‘Cum’ in my ear which mortified me but he was a true gentleman and didn’t say it. However he did test it out. ~ wink ~ <3

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