The next 30 days topic from Loving BDSM is about maintaining D/s when you’re apart. This could be in a long distance relationship, through dating, traveling, or any other space that pulls you out of that headspace.
For us, that is our simple, everyday life. Neither of our jobs are such that we can stay in a D/s headspace all day. We are definitely not alone in this. I’m not sure of any job that would allow for staying in that space all day. Being a parent certainly doesn’t. Maintaining the head space, the power dynamic, when you are pulled out of it each day is a real issue for many.
We have recently established a new rule to deal with the transition back into the D/s headspace each night. This generally only applies to work days, as weekends we tend to spend together. I am usually home first, due to Mr.R’s commute. When he enters the house I kneel for him. I am never allowed to rise from kneeling until being dismissed, so this ritual is no different. It’s not uncommon for there to be other people in the house, usually our boys at a minimum, sometimes other family (grown kids, grandkids). In these times we go to the bedroom, and I kneel on the rug. Occasionally, we have to wait until some vanilla task\person is finished\gone. If that is the case, we simply wait, and do it as soon as we can. My standard chores or activities don’t slow us down. I always drop what I’m doing, and meet him at the door. Usually, I take the stuff out of his hands, set it down, and go straight to the rug. Mr.R follows or meets me there. He tends to grab my hair, push me down or pull me up, which really puts me under his Domination spell. We discuss our day, our evening, whatever is on our mind. Sometimes there’s some kink in there.
With this ritual we book end our day with the power play of our D/s. Our morning ritual is more involved, and much deeper. It starts our day, and includes Master placing my day collar around my neck. We move through the day of our vanilla world, jobs, kids, life, and re-enter what we call our real world in the evening.