Sorry about all the radio…err… blog silence. It was a necessary evil in order to diminish stress and protect my mental health. I started a new a job back in September, and it’s been super stressful (
verging on, no, actual teacher abuse, … but I’ll stay off my soapbox here and leave that story for a different blog). However, I have now been in the position long enough that I can manage. I know more of the systems, and am finding it more, well, manageable. I long for the day when I can leave this type of work behind, but I need it for now, and managing it is what I have to learn to do.
Our D/s has gone through some predictable ups and downs during the stress that our transitional summer has brought. It has most frequently been the healing and strength we have needed, but we have also gone through times where it has been hard to hold onto. Stress can really get in the way of fulfilling your role and obligations as either a submissive or a Dominate. For each of us, the way this has played out has been totally different.
As a sub, a feeling of insecurity, even weakness, has fed my submissive role. The first time my ‘little’ side came out was when I was sick and needed extra care and attention. Sometimes needing help forces me to lean into my role as a submissive. However, that is not the case for a Dom. The role of the Dom comes from a place of confidence and strength. It is the use of power, rather then the giving of power. The confidence has to be there in order for the role to be carried out. So the power must be fed, just as my submission must be fed. While the roles do feed each other, the roles alone are not enough. Our roles are not who we are, they are but a slice, and to feed our roles we must feed our whole self.
If nothing else, I think this summer has been a good reminder to each of us (me and my Dom) what we need as individuals to be truly happy and feel complete.
On that note, it is good to be back on here. I have been lurking around, reading what and when I can, commenting a little. But, I do hope to catch up on reading everything, see what everyone is up to and writing about. I also hope to hear from you all soon!