What’s in a feeling?

I have been trying to describe what submission feels like, or more accurately what it is to feel submissive, to someone who doesn’t know or understand it. It is amazingly hard. In speech, expressing our emotions, our desires, we call it a ‘feeling’. “I want to feel submissive.” “I am feeling submissive.” Phrased like that, it mistakenly sounds like an emotion. However, emotions – like those we teach to our children; happy, sad, bewildered, excited – are very different. They are simple, comparatively, and actually exist alongside the ‘feeling’ of being submissive. Emotions are primarily a result of the situation we are surrounded with. Our current state of submissiveness will bring out emotions. Or we have emotions from other events, our daily life, that are not affected by our submission at all. Emotions can also have a biological factor. Hormones, chemicals, and other natural cycles in the body can push emotions up and down, sometimes out of our control.

The ‘feeling’ of submission is nothing like that. Submission is brought about in only one way: voluntarily giving away power over yourself to someone else. More specifically, it is the bowing to, or acting in service of, that power and the person you gave the power to. Doing the same acts without the gift of submission in between would have completely different results.

Imagine your floor is particularly filthy. The only way to really clean it is to crawl on the floor and scrub it by hand. Completing this task, simply because it has to be done will give me a series of emotions. I may be annoyed at the time lost, or I may be proud my floor looks so good, or more likely both. I may ache and hurt later, and resent that. The emotions are predictable, common.

If, on the other hand, I scrub the floor out of an act of submission – because my Dom told me to – my reaction will be very different. That’s not to say I won’t also feel predictable emotions, I may. However, I will now also feel submissive. The completed task is the same, but the result is very different. I am working to serve my Master’s needs and desires for me. With each stroke of the floor, I am reminded of my place under him. His power over me grows, and I am aware of it. I may also add in emotions of euphoria, of getting sexually turned on, and a kind of natural high as his grip grows. When my Master later sees the floor, and acknowledges my work, I will then revel in his praise. Not only am I proud of my clean floor, but also feeling the power my Dom has over me. It will also continue as time goes on. Every time my Dom walks over the floor, or smiles at it, or during any aches I have later, that feeling will only deepen as I am reminded of his power.

To a-liken submission to an emotion would be to trivialize it. Submission is mentally and physiologically complex. It comes in layers, and grows over time. It requires nurturing, care, and a deep understanding of the reasons and ways a submissive gives power. (Which, by the way, being specific and unique to each submissive, are too vast to mention here.) The more submissive we feel, the more submission we want to feel, and the more we want to do to please our Masters. It is also a role in life, like that of a sibling, friend or colleague. It can define a person, like a personality trait. For some it is a chosen life path, while for others it is who they were born to be. It is also a way of life, lived against the norms of society.

11 thoughts on “What’s in a feeling?

  1. Hi Minnie
    Totally understood the floor cleaning metaphor…doing a chore becomes so much more when being told to do something as a sub,
    I’m in a conventional relationship but with the permission of my wife I have occasionally visited an older gent for corporal punishment.

    Within the sessions with my older friend I call ‘Sir’ I can completely regress and let go all the everyday ‘nonsense’ and let go my adult self for just a short time….it’s not just a punishment scenario for me I can use it to totally unshackle all my tensions and free my mind.

    I can also use the time to unburden any feelings of personally felt errors I have made. If my friend thinks them worthy of punishment then he is firm in dispatching a spanking or if deemed worthy a caning and he always seems to know exactly how much discipline is justified in each case.
    It is complete cartharsis particularly after a few months gap between visits.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences it’s invaluable to those with similar feelings.

    Best wishes Chubs

    1. That sounds fabulous. I also need time like that. It’s really more of a subspace then just feeling submissive, but totally necessary all the same. It holds me together. 😁😁

  2. What a fantastic post, Minnie! πŸ™‚ I needed this reminder. Daddy has lost all confidence in Himself as a Dom as of late. I’m not really sure why?! He won’t talk too much about it. Perhaps I can hand Him back the lash through service.

    1. Great idea! Sometimes they need that boost. (We all do, really.) Mine went though a similar slump, but is back on top now. 😁😁

  3. hey, minnie… this is really well thought through and expressed. of course, I have a strange and wonderful relationship with floor scrubbing, so that warmed my heart…. you are right to talk about submission as a feeling, an emotion, but not just an emotion, and to point out its layers and complexity. and I agree, it’s a gift, in a way… thank you for this piece.

  4. Hi Minnie
    What a great response from fellow contributors and your thoughts and answers of course.
    Subspace is such a personal experience for each individual but it’s great to hear that so many contributors share the kinship that Subspace can provide this was such a good post to expand upon

    1. Thanks! I’m actually thinking of just feeling submissive, not subspace. Though, I do have that one in the works! It’s getting kind of long though, so I’m deciding if I should cut it in half or leave it as one big post.
      No, here I’m thinking only of the feeling of submissiveness, not of subspace. The satisfaction of acting submissive, both in the act of doing something submissive and in the recognition later.

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