Last summer Master put me on a monthly orgasm allowance. My orgasms have never been my own, at least not since I submitted to my Master about 19 months ago. Since then, I have been under his full control when it comes to both sex and orgasms. I don’t get to decide when or if I have an orgasm, and I don’t get to decide when or if I engage in sex. All my orgams strictly belong to him, and I am not allowed to have one unless his expressly says so and is there to watch. I also serve as his sexual slave. That is, I am always available. I remain ready and willing to serve in any way when it comes to his sexual needs, his desires, his pleasure and his entertainment – not mine.
If he wants to cum in my mouth – I open it. If he wants to fuck my cunt – I spread my legs. If he wants to play in my ass – I bend over. It does not matter the time of day, the mood I am in, or the events going on around us. I am his. Any physical arousal I feel only means I want Him to cum, and Him to use me for His enjoyment.
As such, he likes to keep me ready. I am to keep his fuck hole wet, swollen, and throbbing. My hips should remain close to gyrating. My tits tight with pleasure. In this state, I am always ready for him to cum in me or on me whenever he sees fit. If he snaps his fingers, I am to immediately tighten his fuck hole (aka the cunt between my legs). I am his well-trained whore, a pulse of desire running from my tits to his fuck hole.
With the allowance I had before I was allowed to orgasm at least once a month. I didn’t get to decide when or if I would get one, that was still always up to him, but once a month I was guaranteed to have one. Master has gone through a couple different phases since then, including a period of forced orgasms where he told me to orgasm, how, and when.
About a month ago, Master decided to do away with all that. He had already moved back to edging me some time before that. In fact, I’m not sure when I last had an orgasm. On this particular day, he had me – his toy – throbbing and gyrating beside him, my shirt pulled taunt across my erect tits, my wet pussy – his fuck hole – ruining my panties. I sat in the passenger seat as we drove through the desert on a much needed road trip. Alone. That’s when he decided to make a change, or perhaps it was sooner and he just decided to tell me. “There will be no more allowance.” I perked up. “It will not be reinstated at all.” I listened. “Six months,” he told me, “six months you will go without an orgasm, and then I will decide if you will be allowed to orgasm, or not. But maybe not.” There wasn’t anything left for me to say. It was his decision to make.
I’ve never gone six months before. Hell, I’ve never gone half that before. In the past, my edging has always been about staying ready for him. He would edge me for days or weeks, up until I was so distracted by my own wanton desires that all I could think about was sex. Then he would toy with me – his play thing – a bit more just to entertain himself. He liked to watch me beg. He would break me down until I was drooling over his cock, pleading like I didn’t know I could. He would edge me over and over, mixing in spurts of much needed pain to give me focus, to steady myself before edging me again. He’d laugh a bit sadistically. I’d squirm, edged further by the humiliation. Eventually, he’d decide to watch me explode into uncontrollable spasms of orgasmic pleasure.
But now, he intends to keep me there, at this higher peak, for months. Six, to be exact. He will still have fun with me, playing with me daily, maybe several times a day. I don’t know if he will still make me beg for his cock. He hasn’t said anything. He may. He finds it quite entertaining. If he does, he may still tell me no in the end. Perhaps just feeding me, and leaving it at that. He’s told me he’s considering buying me a chastity belt or some similar device. He has looked at several, but hasn’t made a decision yet. He said I would probably wear it most of the day, and certainly all night long. He worries I will try and fuck myself at night, make myself cum while he is sleeping.
It’s not an unrealistic fear. A long time ago, I use to make myself orgasm when I couldn’t sleep. That is now against the rules, but it still resurfaces. Every so now and then I get caught in the foggy space between wakefulness and sleep where my own horny dreams (or are they fantasies…) roll over and over in my mind, building me up higher and higher. This is when it is hard to hold to his rule, and I must be greatly disciplined or be restrained. Currently, I am still a well-trained whore, and have not broken his rule. Though, I did come very close last night. If I did break his rule, I would be punished. Greatly. And I should be. There would probably be lots of forced orgasms while I was restrained to all 4 corners of the bed. I am sure he would pull out the spreader bar, and I would be left with vibrating toys stuck deep in my cunt. I would be labeled with a sharpie, and he would cum on me in some way that I couldn’t get at or clean up. It would be whatever he dreamed up that day. There’s no way to say exactly what would happen, but I am sure you all would hear about it, with photo proof, and I would not disagree with his decision at all. If I am to stay dedicated to him, there should be punishments if I were to stray or mess up.
I was being cuffed to the bed every night. But sometimes I didn’t sleep, and with our new, king-sized bed, I had to stay to one side – away from him. So there’s some troubleshooting to do there, though I’m not sure if that’s why he paused the practice or not. However, I do know it is only a pause, and will come back. Maybe tonight. There are other restraint options too. It would work to cuff my ankles together, or to cuff my wrists to a play collar we sometimes use that has a length of leather running down between my breasts. Once I was put to bed with my legs left in the spreader bar, though that was for different reasons. There are also plenty of mental acts he could take too. A bit of impact play, and a verbal reminder of any punishment he would deliver should I break the rules, for example. In actuality, these nights work to keep me more ready, more primed for Him.
I’m not sure what He’ll decide in the end. I’ll find out when He does it to me. As a good whore does. 😉
xoxo ~ minnie