I don’t know when I last had an orgasm. My best approximation is the middle to the end of March. My Master decided to start a denial period at the beginning of April, however, that isn’t when I last had an orgasm. We had already been edging for a couple days before that, but I don’t know how long. Before that, he was out of the state for a week. I don’t remember if I had an orgasm when he came back or not. Prior to my current state of denial, orgasms were dished out to me like candy, so I didn’t feel the need to track them. Last summer, I had an allowance that guaranteed one orgasm a month. I usually had more than that. Now, of course, things are different.
Orgasm denial falls under a broader category of orgasm control, which spans across a scale. Denial is closely related to edging. I would call it a sort of extended edging, though the lines blur in conversation and there is a definite grey area where it is all the same.
This period of denial is part of my training, chosen by my Master. It is his desire to keep me ready for his use – always. I have seen some people doubt whether a person could be literally trained through orgasm control. I have myself doubted whether it was totally possible and real.
I am here to tell you it works. It is real.
Under his training, I stay more full of desire both mentally and physically. I stay more wet, swollen, and throbbing – just the way he likes me. I am ready to be fucked literally at a moments notice. When he decides to use me, I respond almost instantly, regardless of what other activity I was previously engaged in. The training does not stop there. When not being used, I often times find myself unknowingly thrusting my hips, a physical reaction and reminder of the simultaneous mental training to always stay ready. There are also two times during the day when Master almost always edgegs me; just before sleep, and just after waking up. During both of these times, I feel my body instantly swell and become ready, prior to his touch or even a word. It is the training, the expectation, the practice and ritual of being edged at that time that keeps me and makes me ready.
There is something more to be said about the deeper level of submission I feel under this moratorium. Something more mental, more emotional. Something where I am learning about myself, and changing, growing.
I felt so taken by this change in me the other day I had to sit my Master down at rug time, and try to explain it to him. An hour later, he still grasped to understand. But I did too! 😛 It’s just a feeling for which there is no words.
~ XOXO minnie