From On Top to Sub Drop

30 Days of D/s by Loving BDSM and Kayla Lords

I’ve dropped off in writing toward my 30 days prompts, which yes, has taken me a year *ahem* a bit more then 30 days. But hey, I write what I am ready for! πŸ˜›

This prompt is about Drop, for both the top and bottom.

Sub Drop – Sub drop consists of a variety of symptoms felt by submissives after a particularly engaging and active BDSM scene. The symptoms can include, but are not limited to: fatigue, guilt, depression, hypersensitivity, insomnia, and even flu-like physical symptoms.

Top Drop or Dom Drop – Topdrop refers to an after-effect that may be experienced by a dominant after they have finished with their submissive. This effect is usually characterized by a feeling of guilt or depression.

There are tons of resources on sub-drop, from videos to podcasts, to blogs, and even minimal scientific studies. Finding information on Dom-Drop is harder, but no less important. Both are caused from the same essential reasons and influences; a low feeling following a great high, caused by the sudden loss of the natural chemical and hormonal rush during play.

My Master and I have experienced our fair share of drop, but it’s not something I’ve written about on here, even though I’ve written about the highs of sub space several times. To me, it is an emotion that is hard to capture once I’ve left it. It feels like a weird dramatic spike that I want to wash away and forget I ever had. It is also embarrassing, because you are at your worst emotionally; dramatic and and battling with yourself for control.

Physically, I haven’t had as many problems. At my worst, I have felt exhausted, lethargic, and low on energy. Once I cancelled plans, but I also don’t usually have other things to tend to immediately after. Emotionally, I am usually really clingy in a desperate, needy way, but I also experience times where I need space and to be alone. Master remembers these times the most, where I remember feeling clingy more. I have experienced anger I had to fight against, and gotten frustrated over things I didn’t understand later. Frequently, I become little. But I am little when not in drop, so that isn’t any kind of indicator.

My Master has hit drop too, though maybe not a frequently as I do. Guilt washes over him, and I reassure him everything is what I wanted, all consensual, and that he is treating me the way I wish. His symptoms and responses are similar to mine, maybe identical in definition.

The lack of information on Dom drop compared to sub drop is shocking, which is where I get angry at the community.

Look at the above definitions from Kinky, for example. There is almost a page (including what is on the site and not quoted here) on sub drop, but only a couple sentences on topdrop. It isn’t right. The symptoms, the causes, the risks, the care are the same for both. Somehow though, because the top is the top, their needs and risks are more easily ignored than the bottoms who are always represented as being at risk. In reality, there is no difference, and they shouldn’t be treated that way. We are all humans, and we all experience the same influxes of natural highs and drops.

And that is my soap box PSA for today. πŸ™‚

~XOXO minnie

7 thoughts on “From On Top to Sub Drop

  1. I experience sub drop after an orgasm, that lasts hours to a day after a ruined orgasm, and 3 to 4 days after a full blown orgasms. Thankfully I have not had a full blown orgasm in a long time.

  2. Great post, Minnie. Thanks for talking about this subject. I apologize in advance for my long comment. πŸ˜‰

    My worst subdrop was after spending a week with Daddy before He moved here. It was our first face-to-face time together. I was able to drop into little space and be safe, protected and spent a great deal of time in subspace during that week. I wasn’t prepared in any way for the transition to being apart after that. I had a full scale subdrop which lasted weeks. Mental and physical exhaustion, depression, anxiety. I’ve only experienced subdrop with a Dom once. The scene went very wrong and we didn’t take care of each other well in the process.

    I hate that Domdrop isn’t more widely discussed. I understand why. Socially it’s hard for men to talk about emotional stuff, particularly weakness. We’re talking about Dominant, strong men and women who are supposed to be in charge and take care of their submissives at all times. Sadly, in the community it’s not as openly talked about caring for our Doms as part of the aftercare process. Thanking them for their actions, whatever they were. I had a massive Dommedrop following some really hardcore male humiliation which was consensual and asked for. Guilt and shame took over and it wasn’t easy coming back from it. It was a long time before I switched again after that.

    1. Oh geez! That all sounds so rough. I don’t think I’ve ever dropped that hard. I might drop for a few hours, or the following day at worst, but that’s it.

      1. They were rough, but I made it through. πŸ™‚ Good experience, though horrible. I can relate to others when it happens. I had a couple nice women help me through the one with my former dom when the scene went so bad. I in turn have to opportunity to help someone else through it someday. πŸ™‚ I’m grateful Daddy takes good care of me and I haven’t subdropped in a really long time.

    2. It is interesting also, our culture’s idea of toughness, and what it would look like. ie not having emotions or experiencing normal human cycles like domdrop.

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