In with some new kinks, and revisiting the old

30 Days of D/s by Loving BDSM and Kayla Lords

The next prompt for 30 days is exploring kinks. We’ve done a lot of that lately, but if you’re doing it right, the exploration never stops. My Master even mentioned an interest in going through our checklist worksheet again, just to see where we are and what’s changed over the last couple years. Me, I’m always looking for the perfect, most complete list. So, if you’ve got any suggestions, please send me some links in the comments below. I did find our old ones, so that is a great starting place.

Last time we each filled out the same list separately, and then read them aloud. We also each had a different color pen, which we traded when we went over our partner’s answers. That way we could make notes on our own sheet about what the other was into, and know the color identified them. I’m totally into checklists and excel sheets, so I may work up my own list, and keep it fluid, updating it often. One thing I would add is a curious rating. When we got done last time, I realized we only talked about where we were right then, not where we wanted to go, or fantasies we’ve had.

A new kink we are beginning to explore is breath play or breath control. It is also called erotic asphyxiation. This includes restricting the flow of blood and/or air either from going into the body or from its natural movement and flow in the neck or throat to the lungs and brain. Yup, I’m talking about strangulation, suffocation, and smothering.

Breath control is the restriction of oxygen for the purpose of heightened sexual arousal and intensified orgasm. Methods of breath control include strangulation, suffocation, and smothering. This practice may be used during consensual sex or masturbation. It is particularly popular in the BDSM community where it is not uncommon for dominants to control their submissives’ breathing.

No, it’s not safe. But it is FUN!

Or so I’m told. I honestly don’t know since we haven’t done much of it yet. To start our exploration, we went to an online class. It was virtual primarily because of the quarantine, but I think the format was perfect for us. It actually made easier for us to attend, and we didn’t leave feeling it was lacking in any way. There were plenty of demonstrations and strategies for all levels, explanations, along with methods and ideas to merge it into your own kink scenarios.

We’re still taking a little down time, so we haven’t tried any of the strategies just yet. While we have done a tiny bit of breath play in the past, it was nothing specific enough that I would call it that. Actually, it was just enough to let me know it was one of Mr.R’s hidden kinks!

As we move forward and dive into this a bit more, I am hoping to start with some simple Garroting, just to get the feel of it. Practice first. In the class demo, it was a softer scarf-based strangulation. I’m no expert, and not qualified to tell you much about it. We are just beginning to look at this kink, so I can’t tell you where it will lead. If you are also thinking of journeying down this path, or are just curious, the teacher of the class we went to, The_Voice (you can look him up on fetlife), recommended this article by Stephonas and Shay for beginners.


~XOXO minnie

Photo by Jessie Pridemore

7 thoughts on “In with some new kinks, and revisiting the old

  1. I’ve become very kinky in my old age, and my wife goes along with all my kinks except one. Dominant me, tease and deny my orgasms for long periods of time, allow me to drink her pee, allow me to post nude pictures of her online, and make me her submissive cuckold and fuck other men.

  2. Daddy and i do lots of breath play. Yummy!!! Gotta be really in tune with your partner. Helps with safety. Sounds like you guys are exploring fun new things. 🙂

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