Things have been really out of whack for me lately. We are trying to rearrange our life, so I don’t have to work, and we can live off one income (or an income and a half). It is hard to say the least. Not the change in income, but the change in habits and ideas. It is a time I need though, to just be myself for a while. I need to remember who I am stress free, and not burnt out. The last 2 years have been rough on both of us. I have had peace in my life, and been very happy, especially in our gorgeous pool house in Cali. But, it seems, every time things would be calm and happy, some new thing would come along and upset the apple cart.
When we moved to Southern California a couple years ago, this was not our plan. With this new plan, where I don’t have to work fulltime, it seemed easier to be back in Washington. There are family things also. So, now we are back in Washington, trying to make this new plan work. I hope it does. I’d love to remember what it is to be my creative self, to have the energy to spend on me and my ideas.
The stress of this more recent change has left us both really distant from each other. Even our collaring ritual hasn’t been happening every morning, and has started to feel stiff and awkward. I can’t even remember the last time I was spanked. And, worst of all, we’ve both been really spiteful toward each other. Of course, I know the solution is to lean into the D/s, but it just hasn’t been happening. The result is that I feel torn away from my kinky side, away from being a captivating, sexual being.
It is just stress though, and this too shall pass. Sooner, rather than later, I am sure. We have to make another independent trip back to Cali to finish up our house sale this week. We’ll be alone for the first time in a more months then I know. That will be something at least.
I know, this isn’t my usual kind of post, and it isn’t what I set out to write. Really, I wanted to ask you all a question.
I am working on doing a new ‘about me’ post and page. Any questions for me? Anything you want to see, or know about me or our alternative life? Anything you’ve seen in other ‘about me’ pages or posts that were really great?