Power exchange relationships are some of the most complex and deep relationships you can enter. They require a great deal of communication, and yield an even greater deal of intensity. They also need maintenance, evaluation, and reassessment of what is working and what isn’t. They aren’t for everyone.
Master and I started our power-exchange at New Year’s two years ago. It wasn’t due to the holiday, but rather just a coincidence that it aligned.
Previously, I did not take much value in New Year’s, or the tradition of making resolutions. Being a teacher (now a recovering teacher) my year always began in August or September. It felt misplaced to make new goals in the middle of the year, especially since I already had goals based on the academic year. The tradition of self-reformation starting on January the 1st felt like a hollow practice long before this. A person who wants to make a real change for themselves does it the second they make the decision to change. Forcing it on a specified date rarely leads to success. Being someone who attributes their self worth to the making and attaining of goals, this is not a process that yields high value to me.
Our anniversary has become a time of deep review, and consequently it has brought meaning to the New Year time frame. This year, our review began very early. It started a month ago, maybe two, after we made some very big life changes. Specifically, I quit my job, we sold our house, and we are starting a new life path so I can retrain for a new career. I know, yikes, is right! During this time frame I also got really sick, which lasted for nearly 3 months, and I am only now beginning to feel like myself again. With all of this happening around the holidays, it forced us to slow down our review. There were pros and cons to this.
On the pro side we are rebuilding things with great purpose, intention, and the expertise of experience. Over the past several weeks, we have rebuilt our collaring ritual, established a smooth method of punishment or domestic discipline, developed clear lines of where and how power exchanges happen, and written a set of core goals that guide everything else we do. In addition to that we have new mantras and a loose idea of goals for the future. We still have more to work out, and I continue to miss the feeling of deep ownership that I am use to, but I know that will come with time.
For now, I am happy with the progress we are making, and I am trusting in his leadership to keep us on the right path.