I would argue all relationships have rules. Maybe they aren't written down, but they are there, under the surface. An expectation or a condition that, if it isn't met, has consequences. They naturally grow and change with time, and are driven by some need, either spoken or silent, by one or both of the partners. … Continue reading I’ll take some Rules, Consequences, and Pretty Things.
D/s doesn't require sex. "Wait. What? What did that say? Did that say, D/s DOESN'T require sex?" No, D/s doesn't require sex. D/s is a power exchange. It is one person giving up power while another takes the responsibility of that power in a relationship. This 30-days topic is about that power exchange and the … Continue reading The D/s Monster at the end of this post.
When I first saw this topic I wondered what I would have to say about safewords... again. I already posted about it for the 30 days of D/s here, and made various other small mentions of it. However, it turned out to have come at the right time. Honestly, Mr.R and I haven't had much … Continue reading Is it time for you to adopt a safe word?
Once upon a time, bondage was the bread and butter of our kink. That, and blindfolds. We didn't classify either as BDSM, mostly because we didn't know what BDSM was, at least not beyond the mainstream media of the 80's and 90's - which presented BDSM as the sign of an unhealthy mind. With the … Continue reading Bondage, blindfolds, and human furniture
We are about to rewrite our rules. There's not necessarily anything wrong with the ones we have, except they haven't been updated in a while. The 14th topic for Loving BDSM's 30 Days is rules, so it seems the perfect time to bring it up. Our rules have always been a work in progress. Or, … Continue reading Getting a brand new set of rules.
This 30 days post is about bringing D/s into your vanilla life. I didn't find this email list until well after Mr.R and I were into D/s, so I thought I'd use this opportunity to tell more about how we came into D/s. Our D/s started with me. I invited Mr.R into D/s, after struggling … Continue reading Once, Twice, Three times a submissive.
I've been meandering around this idea. Conflict has to be dealt with in a relationship; vanilla or D/s. It is a natural part of any relationship, and the strategies a coping mechanisms you use evolve naturally as you and your relationship evolves. We certainly don't fight now like we did when we were 20 - … Continue reading Can conflict build the backbone of your D/s?
Maintenance: to maintain, to keep, to sustain, the process of maintaining or preserving someone or something, or the state of being maintained Spanking: 1) to slap with an open hand, usually on the ass, generally in repetition. 2) To have a good time,“I’ve had a spanking good time!”. 3) To give a good impression, to … Continue reading Maintenance Spankings are Delicious
I signed up for Kayla Lords (free!) 30 days of D/s. It's designed to help you gain a "better understanding of what you want and need in your D/s relationship." It is also available as a workbook. This is day 1, and the topic is Dominance - specifically what kind of a person is a … Continue reading What it takes to be an effective Dominant.