Last night I asked one too many questions about exactly what would happen if I did fuck myself in the middle of the night. "If you made yourself cum, you'd be punished," Master went on, but I already knew the answer. I suppose I wanted to hear him say it, describe it just to prove … Continue reading The state of things.
I think I was always submissive. No one has ever seen me that way, and would probably think the opposite. I am known as a fighter. People have thought of me as someone who wants things my own way. It isn't true. It never has been. I just share my thoughts and ideas, while others … Continue reading I am what you made me.
Punishment, or more accurately, your use of punishment is a major element in any power-exchange relationship. That doesn't mean you should definitely have it. It does mean you should definitely talk about it, have negotiated norms and expectations around it. You should also leave room to renegotiate those terms as time passes and your dynamic … Continue reading How to use PUNISHMENT to shape your dynamic effectively.
This is my third post in a series on subspace, as promised, though it is a bit later then I intended. With my imposter fears, I almost abandoned the thread all together, but when I saw it half done I remembered how important this particular story is. I learned my lesson the hard way, but … Continue reading Do you abandon safety in subspace?
My Master rarely gives me assignments, but he did last month concerning subspace. It happens to coincide with my next 30-Days topic, which is also on sub-space, so ta-da! Before describing subspace, I think it is important to separate it from the 'feeling' of submissiveness. They are really quite different, and should be recognized separately. … Continue reading Do you want to play in subspace?
Mr.R and I have been full-time D/s for an entire year now. Officially. YAY!!!! Applause accepted gracefully. Thank you, and curtsy. 🙂 I have to say I'm quite proud of us. When we started a year ago I had no idea what I was getting into. Which is weird, I admit, because I was the … Continue reading Happy D/s-iversary to us!!!!
Over the past couple weeks I have been able to wear my leather slave collar out in public pretty consistently. This is mostly because we've been away from our vanilla life and kids, hanging out at our other house. It's a fun and safe place for us to play in in a truly full time … Continue reading Umm, excuse me. My collar is up here.
Master and I recently had a really great goal-setting discussion. Actually, we've had a lot of really great discussions lately. Not only that, but our D/s has been growing exponentially in many ways, leaving me feeling really well cared for and important to him. A good dose of humiliation and submissiveness does a little minnie … Continue reading In a World Where D/s is the Goal…
I have been trying to describe what submission feels like, or more accurately what it is to feel submissive, to someone who doesn't know or understand it. It is amazingly hard. In speech, expressing our emotions, our desires, we call it a 'feeling'. "I want to feel submissive." "I am feeling submissive." Phrased like that, … Continue reading What’s in a feeling?
This summer has been weird, confusing. I wish I could say our new life is shaping up to be exactly what we wanted, exactly what we thought it would be, but that couldn't be further from the truth. The last two months feels like a lifetime's worth of choices. To make a long story short, … Continue reading My upside down summer, and what to do about it.