minnie is me.
minnie is my submissive name. The first letter is intentionally lowercase to designate my submissive role. I keep my vanilla life secret (mostly), including that other name, which I barely bond with anymore. I live in a 24/7 power-exchange relationship with my husband of 20+ years. Our dynamic, like every other power exchange dynamic, is original in its complexity and intricacies. He is my Master, my Dom. I serve as his submissive and his sex slave. We have grown into our roles more than I could say in one post, and I no longer separate my ‘vanilla’ self from my role. It is who I am. It is who we are.
What This Blog is About – Our Power-Dynamic
The foundation of our dynamic is on our roles. As my Master, his charge is me. That is his words, not mine. He sees his sole purpose as ensuring I am the best version of myself that I could possibly be. As his submissive, my charge is serving him. That is my words, not his. This blog is about my role, my duties, and my actions in doing just that – serving him. It includes our dynamic, our kink and some of my service as his sex slave, along with many facets of the real world we deal with. Mostly, it is about me and my growth – my journey as a submissive.
Being Submissive versus Being a Slave
The right side of the slash, the small ‘s’, can stand for either submissive or slave. I seperate my role down into two distinct purposes; being his submissive, and being his sex slave. Being a submissive versus being a slave are different solely in the amount of power that is exchanged. To be a slave you are entering into a Total Power Exchange (TPE). Many in the kink community would say if you are a ‘slave’ your only choice is to who you are giving the power to. After that, all the decisions are up to Dom\me or Master\Mistress. To be a submissive (not a slave), you are selecting specific areas of power you wish to exchange, and then negotiating with your Dom how that exchange will work. In both cases you are placing power over your life in the hands of someone else, and following their lead, their decisions – even if you don’t get your way. Across the vast array of power-exchange relationships there are those who live full-time as a slave in every way of their dynamic, and there are those who are submissive only in the bedroom. Each is unique and valid, suited to the members of the relationship.
What it is to be a submissive
In this dynamic, he is my Master, and I am his submissive. As his submissive, I have given over power to specific areas of my life to him. That means, in those areas he holds the power to make decisions, to tell me what to do, to make rules governing me whether I like them or not. I also submit to his punishment when I don’t meet standard. There are things in our relationship and life that he has control or power of, and things we share power of. So long as there are aspects of shared power, I am on the submissive side, not the slave side.
What Makes me a Sex Slave*
I have given over all power over my body and our entire sex life to my Master. I am his literal, living sex toy. That means he has full control over when, where, and how I get used. It does not mean I don’t have limits, or that we don’t discuss those limits. It simply means that he makes all of the final choices, and I follow his wishes. He has the power. My Master knows and respects my limits, he also decides when it is time to push them, and by how much. The same goes for my kinks. Our individual kinks and fantasies are not identical, however they do cross in places. As his sex slave, it becomes his choice when and where we should play. He decides if his kinks get filled, or mine, or both. He decides when my edges and limits will be pushed and in what ways. He molds me into the kind of whore he wishes me to be. In contrast, if I were a submissive and not a slave, we would negotiate aspects of these decisions, each of us holding part of the power and thereby the decision making.
This kind of power-exchange comes from a great deal of trust and communication, and shouldn’t be given away lightly. It certainly wasn’t a decision or exchange that we came into overnight. Even with years (nay, decades) of marriage under our belt, it still took us many months in our D/s dynamic before this deeper level of submission and power exchange took place.
Reading My Blog
If you’d like to read my blog from the beginning, I’d suggest you open it in a browser (not a blogger app), scroll to the bottom of the screen and click the ‘older posts’ link. If you repeat this enough times, you will eventually get to my very first post. There is also a calendar at the right side of the page with a link on each day I’ve made a blog post, so you could move back month by month. However, I do have to point out that our dynamic has grown so much over the years, I can guarantee that I was not the same person two years ago that I am now.
If you’d like to focus in on a couple recent posts that reveal a bit more about me, I’d suggest starting here; What I am to him – my four roles or here; A List About Me. Our rituals and routines are always changing, as a well-managed D/s relationship is likely to do. There are many posts about what our rituals and daily practices have been in the past including; Morning Maintenance Spankings: a Year-Long Reflection, My Morning Ritual, Is this an Act of Service or a Chore, and Daily Routines that Bind us. Part of our dynamic includes punishment, which I have briefly touched on; How to use punishment to shape your dynamic, Mouthy Whore, How to take a bad Girl and Make her into a Good Girl. You can also follow category links or tags (below) to narrow in on a topic.
(Also on the right side of the page)
- BDSM & Kink (52)
- D/s & Power-Exchange Foundations (59)
- 30 days of D/s (27)
- My Life as a submissive (58)
- Punishment and Domestic Discipline (10)
- Rules, Rituals, & Routines (19)
30 days of D/s 50s household alternative relationships bdsm blogging blow job body modification bondage cock worship communication community ddlg domestic discipline edging flogging funishment impact play kinky toys limits little Maintenance Spankings marriage masochist my erotica negotiation objectification orgasm control orgasm denial owned punishment Rituals roles routines rules sexual availability sexual humiliation sexual submission spanking submissive wife SubSpace tattoo therapy spankings training vanilla whore
A Note on the Word Slave
- I feel like it bears mentioning that the use of the word slave here is a privilege we in the kink community can only use because we are not literal slaves. We have given consent. We have made a choice to give our power away, and we are doing so willingly to someone we trust. This is not the history of the word. I just want to acknowledge this difference to bear witness to the real people who have been or are real slaves across the world without consent.